Saturday, February 15, 2014

And you thought reading/watching Lord of the Rings obsessively would be pointless.

So...JedI has survived his recent surgery.

I say this largely because (I think) he was not sure he would.  And he did.  "Hey, what's up?" was the greeting he gave me coming out of anesthesia. And he sat there, perfectly cognizant and waiting for them to check him out, drinking Coke and snacking on animal crackers...because he really might be Wolverine, with his healing powers.

 Because it was just a vasectomy, according to my female sensibilities, and The Potential End of the World, according to the male perspective.

I admit it; as a female I lack the true understanding that comes with something like this. I know it is scary...well, I in theory know it is scary.  As reality, it is kind of hit-and-miss.  I was always assured that when "the time was right" I would find it within my heart to want to procreate.  I spent many years, in fact, dealing with the fact that I did NOT want to procreate.  I adore my nieces and nephews; I would go back in time only to relive spending time with the Nutz Brothas and doing MORE for them.  But that maternal instinct?  Not so much.  I adore playing with babies.  I will even change diapers (and I am pretty sure Whit left a particularly vile diapered child to me ON PURPOSE); but there is something in me that lacks the need to procreate.

That being said, despite his attempt at dignity the JedI has given in to my suggestion, and now can be heard chanting "Grond! Grond! Grond!" with me as we place the large metallic bowl over his nether regions, in order that the cat might not leap upon his loins and undo what has been (horribly expensively) done.

He is still not fully at ease with Feral Fawcett; I am not sure that either of them will ever achieve full symbiosis.  Nevertheless, I have been really, really glad that I insisted on the biggest aluminum bowl we had, rather than a smaller one.  When Feral leaps up and sneers at us, at least she isn't causing JedI pain.

Can ANYONE explain to me why, with insurance, it cost us almost $800 to have his squirmies secede from the Union?  Am I racist for even questioning this?  Because really, after the laws being passed and the requirement that WE ALL SHALL HAVE INSURANCE, isn't NOT having children something that should resonate deeply with insurance companies?  As JedI has suggested, why don't they offer an incentive/bonus amount for people who are trying to do the responsible thing and NOT have children?

This is me, signing off and not thrilled with the fact that if I don't sign up for local health care, our tax refund may be in jeopardy.  Yer kidding me.

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